Call Center Bloopers

[xtemplar]

kani dili ni ako, from a friend pero tinuod ni..

Customer: F**k you! what is wrong with you people?! i have been calling for several times already and yet i did not get any action?! F**k you! F**k you!

Agent: Sir, pls Sir, stop f**king me!

[xtemplar]

1. Sir, kindly state your first and last name starting off with your area code?

2. Sir, do you happen to remember your first name, please?

3. Agent: So how long the camera?

4. Ma'am, please turn off all electrical appliances within the vicinity of your modem. This might be causing the interference.

5. Customer: So what do I do now?
Agent: Click on the OK button, and now let's keep our fingers crossed....

6. Customer: So are you a boy or a girl?
Agent: Well, let's just say a little bit of both....(Nyah!)

7. Sir, let us not tamper with the Safe mode. It was placed there for a purpose!

8. Customer: Mr. Stanley just stepped out of the house. This is his wife.
Agent: Can you ask him to step back in again, ma'am?

9. Customer: So do I turn the camera over?
Agent: Yes, sir. You would have to turn yourself over. Right, Sir.

[xtemplar]

bwahehehe... :)

[sacha_ris]

wahehehehehehe. these simple things makes my world round and round and round. nyahaha. post pa ulit xtemplar. gaya nung mga step back again please. nyahahaha.

[sher]

hahahahaha! omygosh! hahahaha!!!
shish!
actually nakaexperience nrin ako ng gnyang agent. nyahahaha!
kaya lang kawawa nmn e, nageeffort lang naman kya hinayaan ko na,hahaha!

[arizusa]

kakatawa namna un..cge pa po psot ka pa dami..

[xtemplar]

cge hanap pako ulit.. heheh.. c",) maging clown nako di2 sa dotsis.. hahah.

[xtemplar]

bloopers again:
1. Thank you for calling to you how may I help you?
2. So you will have 1 children with you in this flight?
3. Ok maam first can you give me first your first name first and you last name first?
4. Thank you for calling your account number sir... (!!!?!)
5. So would you like to book for a flight this January nine or TANE? (as in TAne tlaga!!! hahah.)

[xtemplar]

Agent : Sir these are your options for your warranty...option 1, option 2, etc.
Customer: Hmmm...im kinda confused on which one i'll choose. Can I call tonight to give you my decision....
Agent: ok, ok you can call tonight.....

[xtemplar]

RING RING!
CSA: Thank you for calling (blah... blah... blah...) this is Betty Speking how may I help you?
Caller: Okay, Miss "Peking" I would like an authorization code....
(Gosh, Nagkasundo sila sa surname? Duh!)

Clmt: (clmt was keyspelling his current location....)
CSA: okay sir, that's A for "Alpha"... M for "Mike".... O for.... for... "OSAMIS?" <-----saang probinsya kaya galing to???

***********************

Cust: Smith
CSA: May I have ur first name?
Cust: Terry
CSA: Thank u Mr. Terry!

bet : okay ma'm from what i see here we need to verify your add...do you have a tel num of your neighbor libing in the same street?
cust : what?
bet : ma'm if you have a tel num of your neighbor libing in the same stree

[olrayt]

4. Ma'am, please turn off all electrical appliances within the vicinity of your modem. This might be causing the interference.

aba'y i-off mo na yung computer mo hehe

[xtemplar]

Agent: Thank you for calling ABC.com
Customer: Hello, am I talking to a LIVE person?
Agent: Yes sir. You are talking LIVE via satelllite with no commercial breaks.....(bongga parang t.v.)

[xtemplar]

common bloopers:
1. ok sir ,hold the line pls and i'll be right back with you in a minute..
2. can i hold you for a while sir for me to verify it for you.
3. thank you mam,enjoy the terms and conditions!
4. ohh..is that your dog crying?
5. is that a healthy yes?(while talking to a 60 yr old woman)

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tech: sir, i want you to type "restore"...R as in Robert, E as in Echo, S as in...

cust: wait wait wait!!!...How do u spell echo?

=====

tech: sir, type P as in Paul

cust: what?! B as in Ball?

tech: no sir, P as in Peter!

cust: OWWW...B as in Beer!!!

======
American cust: Y as in You! E as in Eco 2 3 1
Indian tech: Y as in U? or Y as in...Y?
American cust: Y as in YOU!! Y starts with a W! reffering to (why)
Indian tech: ok sir, so your service tag in W...E231
American cust: F@#k Y@# m0r0n!! (then hangs up the phone)

[xtemplar]

customer (very irate!!!): don't say ok becoz it's not ok!@$%!^!!!!!

agent: ........ok... (at nagwala ang ating mahal na customer!!) hehehe.

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agent: I'm sorry but this is the only department that handles the calls of our customers.

customer: and what department are you?

agent: call center

customer: a what?!!
(cust service diay toh!!)

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ech support: ok sir, can u pls type cmd on the run field
client: what?!!!
tech support: cmd sir
client: (irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!
tech support: ok!!! c as in CLIENT, m as in MUST and d as in DIE (ngaiks!!!) hehehe

[xtemplar]

agent: (gave an assumptive question to get the billing add) so ma'am, youre still living at P.O. Box ......
customer: honey, i dont live in a box. i have a house.

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agent: (speaking to a kid) so, is ur mom in ryt now?
kid: wait up...mooooom!!!
hello? (still the kid, prentending to be his mom)
agent: so ur mom isnt there, is she?
kid: what are u talking abt? im the lady of the house...
agent: (g@go to ah!) alright, can i speak with ur husband then?
kid: maaaartin! somebdy wants to speak with u...
whos this? (still the kid, this time, tatay nman cya kunwari)

hmpf! bata pa kup@l na..

********************

[xtemplar]

CSR (thick Ilonggo intonation): Thank you for calling ABC. How may I help you todeey?

Cust: Theres something wrong with my connection. I can't make long distance calls!

CSR: I'm sori to her dat ser. May I hab your fone number fleese?

Cust: Sure! It's 455-6798. By the way, are you Filipino?

CSR: Yes, ser!

Cust: I'm Filipino too. Ilonggo, right?

ICSR: Baw, Linti! How do you know I'm Ilonggo when I'm espeakin' in Inglis?

[xtemplar]

"...ok, so click on START, the go to CONTROL PLANET..."

"....ma'am u need to close your WINDOWS...(silence)...", "...(customer) ok, the windows are closed now..."

"...i have a problem with my foot switch!...","...your foot switch, ma'am...?", "...yes, the one that has two buttons..." (MOUSE, DAMMIT! MOUSE!)

"...my computer screen is all black! i was using the computer yesterday!...", "...ma'am, let's turn ON the computer first..." :mad:

[xtemplar]

hahahahah............................

on site: hi, how do you mute my computer? they can hear me talking...
me: (thinking) .... hmm.. (remove the microphone from computer)
... silence...

[xtemplar]

a customer was promised several times that the account will be reviewed to adjust her bill

csr: mam rest assured we will review the account and whatever invalid charges will be credited
cust: i've been hearing that several times already (yelling)
csr: well mam im gonna say it again and if your not gonna stop your gonna hear it once more

[xtemplar]

customer :(irate) I accidentally upgraded the features on my account.. I dont want the charges on my account
agent: OHHHH!.. you accidentally upgraded it?!.. OHHH IM SO SORRY!... WE accidentally billed your account...

me: !!!!.. weahahhahahha

[xtemplar]

a customer called in and wants his ticket to be upgrade to the business class and on that flight there is none available, and the agent tried hard to explain that to the customer but he keeps on screaming and got irate

cust: why can't i be upgraded to the business class?
csr: sir, as i've told you, its fully booked already and there is none available
cust: i want you to find me one
csr: alright sir, do you really want to be upgraded? then we will upgrade you to the PILOT seat

(this time the customer hung up)

[sacha_ris]

and i accidentally hurt my face when i tried to laugh. nyahaha.

[xtemplar]

here goes..

agent: thank you for calling (company) can i have your order or customer number please?

cust (irate): i am going to smash this computer into your face!

agent: is that a desktop or laptop?

hehehehehe

[xtemplar]

A confused caller to IBM was having trouble
printing documents. He
told the technician that the computer had said it
"couldn't find printer."
The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer -
but
that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

:mas mey utak pa taung pinoy.. tsk3x. hehehe.

[xtemplar]

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech
Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on.
After ensuring the computer w as plugged in, the
technician asked her
what happened when she pushed the power button. ! Her
response, "I pushed
and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing h happens."
The "foot pedal"
turned out to be the computer's mouse..
================================================== =
Another IBM customer had trouble installing
software and rang for
support.... "I put in the first disk, and that was OK.
It said to put in
the second disk, and had some problems with the disk.
When it said to put
in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in.
" The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"
implied to remove Disk
1 first.

[xtemplar]

eto para sa nyo... hehehe.

A story from a Novell Net Wire SysOp:

CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken - and I
am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that
fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my
computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped,
it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a
trade show? How did you
get
this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know
anything about a
promotional... It just has '4X' on it." At this point,
the Tech Rep had to
mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing too hard.
The caller had been using the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder and snapped it off the drive.

[xtemplar]

A woman called the Canon help desk with a
problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under
windows." The woman
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that
is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is
working fine."

[xtemplar]

agent: Thank you for choosing company, my name is...how may i help you?

caller: son(sweet old american lady), help me!!! There's a SHARK inside my computer, oh my god, its getting nearer and nearer! it'll bite me!!!

...it turned out that she's looking at the screen saver of her computer... hehehe.


bwahahahaha...

[xtemplar]

eto pinaka da bes... heheheheh.

from a friend:
ito narinig ko lang sa trainor ko, pero narinig ko din sa ibang agents on the floor.

technical support for desktop computers, old lady ang customer, tungkol sa optical mouse niya...

CUSTOMER: my mouse is not working, it doesn't have a "ball."
TECH: your mouse is an optical mouse, that's why it does not have a ball.
CUSTOMER: no! you don't understand, my mouse is not working, it does not have a "ball."
(old lady could not understand what an optical mouse is so the tech spent about 30 minutes on her just trying to explain why her mouse does not have a "ball.")
TECH: ma'am, may i place you on hold for a minute to...
(TECH places the customer on hold, then takes a deep breath out of frustration, then goes back to the customer)
TECH: thank you for holding ma'am, the reason your mouse does not have a "ball" is your mouse is a FEMALE mouse. Since it's a FEMALE mouse, it's a SUPERIOR mouse. It does not need to have a "ball."
CUSTOMER: oh! i understand now. well why didn't you say so right away!? ...

one satisfied customer na naman http://pinoyexchange.com/forums/images/smilies/lol.gif

[xtemplar]

check the link below and u'll find it equally funny and somewhat related to ur works.

http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/index.htm

[red_drizzle]

i loooove this thread! hahahahaha! cant stop laughing! LOL!:lol: :lol: :lol:

[kristineortiz]

hehehe, thanks po sa post mo, npatawa mo ako khit mejo sad ako....
thanks!!!!

[adrian2]

astig naman ^^

[Adrian_2007]

kulet ng mga to. pero madami ako natyetyempuhang ganito e. :lol:

[pianofortississimo]

Luv the thread! Yung ate ko once made me listen to an actual call by an American Grade schooler to the local demolishing company, requesting that her school (the kid was a girl) be demolished by Monday because they'd be having an exam. Grabe! Una, akala mo prank call, pero the kid was dead serious! Laugh trip talaga!

[xtemplar]

up ko lang.. ngayon lang ako naka visit ulit.. miss this site.. tsk3x..